Going Deeper
Going Deeper, Part 2[Note to the SY Community: if you have ideas for topics you'd like to see addressed in this space, please e-mail Carol at caroljcook@msn.com]
Svadhyaya
© Carol Cook
Among the niyamas, or practices of self-discipline, listed in Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras, is svadhyaya, usually translated as both "study" and "self-study" or "self-observation." Traditionally yogis studied sacred texts, such as the Bhagavad-Gita, in order to deepen their understanding of existence, and practiced meditation in order to observe—with-ever greater clarity—the nature of their own beings. We too practice svadhyaya when we study texts, from any tradition, that deepen our understanding of ourselves and when we learn to slow down our thoughts so that we can observe the processes of our minds.
Self-observation could be considered the foundation of spiritual practice. Unless we can gain a clear understanding of our motives, impulses, and patterns of thought and feeling, we cannot act with either freedom or wisdom. Instead, we react out of habit and out of illusions about ourselves and others. We repeat patterns that we don’t recognize as patterns and act on assumptions that we don’t recognize as assumptions. We remain unconscious. Sigmund Freud, a great teacher of svadhyaya, revolutionized the modern understanding of the human psyche with his view that most of what goes on in our minds is unconscious. Consciousness, Freud learned from closely studying himself and his patients, is merely the tip of a vast iceberg.
So how do we bring light to these unconscious depths? By cultivating patient, non-judgmental observation. This is not easy to do because judgment is deeply engrained in most of us and judgment pre-empts clear seeing. Our judgments about what is acceptable are like gatekeepers in our awareness, allowing some thoughts and feelings to arise but stifling others before we can even become aware of them. Judgment (shame) drives self-censorship. If I need to see myself exclusively as a kind and compassionate person, I’ll blind myself to my own moments of intolerance and aggression. Those moments will still arise but I’ll be oblivious to them. And because of my obliviousness, I may act on the very impulses I’ve tried to renounce. But if, instead, I can suspend my judgment and be open to all that arises, I can recognize when angry, selfish, or hostile thoughts and impulses bubble up. And then, instead of castigating myself for my failure of compassion, I can ask "Where does this come from? What does this feel like? How can I understand this better?" Such questions allow us to learn something about ourselves. We may come to recognize old wounds in ourselves, the sources of our defensiveness and oversensitivity. We may come to see patterns in our behavior and feelings. This clear seeing (darshana in Sanskrit) is the first step toward clearer living.
Patanjali identifies ignorance—avidya—as the root cause of all suffering. What we don’t allow ourselves to know does hurt us. And ironically, we unconsciously cling to our unconsciousness, our ignorance, believing that we protect ourselves from suffering when we shut certain truths out of our awareness. Svadhyaya is the healing antidote to avidya. As we develop the ability to see, our suffering diminishes and we experience greater freedom.
Your own svadhyaya can take many forms. One of the simplest in principle (not so easy in practice) is mindfulness meditation: the practice of sitting quietly, focusing on the breath, and observing, without judgment, the processes of the mind. If you are interested in learning this method, I highly recommend a little book called Mindfulness in Plain English by Henepola Gunaratana. Psychotherapy, especially psychoanalysis, is another form of svadhyaya in which you learn to risk exposing the processes of your psyche to a trusted other. You can also practice svadhyaya less formally just by learning to notice when you judge your thoughts, when you try to dodge yourself. Learn to suspend that impulse and to be curious, rather than afraid, about what will arise.
To cultivate nonjudgmental awareness is to cultivate both humility and strength. We learn that we are not whatever idealized versions of ourselves we’ve clung to in the past (neither are we the monsters our judgments make us out to be). We also learn that the more clearly we see, the more wisely we can act. We can allow space for all our feelings and then choose what to do (and not to do) with them.
Last Modified: July 5, 2004